Sun Nov 30, 2003: 1936
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©2003   Jerral Sapienza & LLX Press

Reflections from Within
Jerral Sapienza
He's back, he's back, my torment is back.
That little grey pain in the small of my back: 
	his hollowness haunts me,
	he teases and taunts me,
	he jerks me around 
	as I feign he still wants me.

It stresses me maybe to think that my baby's
not anything near what I think that he may be. 
	But rather illusion
	or worse, a delusion,
	a manic concoction of
	hopeful confusion.

I gave him my power?  I'm lost when he's near me?
The fires within me don't comfort, but sear me? 
	Why burn from this pain
	with no purpose or gain
	as I lose my direction
	to find I'm insane...

But all is not lost yet, I tell myself, trying:
Not fawning nor failing, nor sitting here crying.
	'Tis best that I greet it
	this game that he's meted,
	though odds seem against me,
	I still may complete it!

Those future men within whom I shall be
Will aid me in this too, for they can see:
And I shall learn what they shall have me know
Should I but trust, then truly I shall grow...
    -- 2024h
Well, I'm not sure I have much to say about this one. Note that it's right after Thanksgiving. That's significant. The Holiday Time of year has typically brought some strange torments to me. I was held up Christmas Eve when I was 21, working at a hotel. Holidays were never quite the carefree events after that.

This one just came out of nowhere really, just started banging into my head as a kind of annoying rat-tat-tat beat almost like Cat in the Hat or Poe or something.

This is a very odd rhythm and rhyme scheme for my poetry; its feet seem short and clipped; I usually prefer 5 or 7 beats in a foot. Oh, well, maybe it's because that's how my concentration lately has been, with this torment back in my brain / back!

Have fun explicating!

-J :-)

© 2003 by Jerral Sapienza • Lifelong Learning Excellence, Inc. • PO Box 380 • Eugene, OR • USA 541.343-1202
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